In an effort to combat what some are calling a 'Nationwide Winter Hibernation Crisis,' Riga's city council passed a new bill on Monday aimed at keeping its citizens out of bed and productive during the colder months. The 'Anti-Hibernation' law has already raised eyebrows from the Baltic Sea to the furthest corners of Latgale.

City councilor Jurijs Snore, who spearheaded the initiative, remarked, "We Latvians are known for many things: our enchanting forests, rich culture, and obsession with saunas. However, productivity winter dips are a serious problem, and frankly, the amount of duvet hoarding we've observed is a red flag."

The new legislation proposes a staggered fine system covering various degrees of winter slumber, with penalties ranging from mandatory public sauna sessions to attending motivational lectures hosted by Riga's perennial optimism award winner, Viesturs Apse.

According to the recent statistics revealed by SNORE™ (Survey of No-Occupancy Residential Environments), 37% of Latvians reportedly attempted to sleep from November until April last year. "We even believe that nearly 12% of the population answered our survey from within their comforters," added Snore.

Liene Liepina, a local resident embraced by a cocoon of merino wool, disagreed with the council's measures. "I find hibernation to be a personal right," she grumbled, peeking out from under a balaclava. "The less time I spend conscious from February to March, the less I need to worry about storm-force winds and losing yet another umbrella."

To better guide its citizens through the snowy seasons, the government has also issued an 'Awake & Aware' starter kit, including a daylight lamp and a handbook with optimistic phrases like, "At least you're not in Siberia," and "Think of all the indoor activities!"

Despite the unorthodox measures, several local business owners have applauded the move. "Sales absolutely plummet every winter," said Maris Ozols, owner of 'Riga Roasters,' a specialty coffee shop. "If we can just get people to stay awake, maybe I'll sell more than three lattes a day!"

Riga's mayor, Ilze Ziemelniece, ended the announcement with a rallying cry for increased national togetherness. "We face harsh winds and endless snow, yet we must remain resilient. Just think how much warmer you'll feel if a million of us huddle together outside..."

Not everyone is on board with this enthusiasm; the Underground Sleep Movement, an organization arguing for increased napping rights, intends to protest by launching a 'Blanket the Baltic' initiative. "We want to cover the entire Gulf of Riga with knitted throws," said their spokesperson, who asked to remain anonymous in case of accidental dozing.

Whether Riga will rise (or, more accurately, get out of bed) to accept this challenge remains to be seen. For now, in a country where the national pastime appears to be vying for the warmest, coziest seat, betting against Old Man Winter seems like a wager worthy only of the deepest of pockets—and the fluffiest of pillows.