Riga, LATVIA—In a groundbreaking proposal delivered with characteristic and unflinching optimism, the Riga City Council has announced its intention to officially designate the act of sitting in traffic as a national pastime, claiming it ranks among Latvia’s most cherished collective experiences, akin to the beloved mid-winter 'Piparkūkas' baking. The initiative, humorously dubbed 'Stuck in Traffic, Stuck in Tradition,' has been met with mixed reactions from residents and automotive experts alike.

A statement from council spokesperson Aivars Zivtiņš elaborated on the initiative's aims: "We are a nation proud of our unique heritage. Whether it’s meticulously organized Song and Dance Festivals or unexpectedly spontaneous traffic jams on Brīvības iela, what happens on our streets has become a reflective mirror of our vibrant cultural identity." According to the proposal, the council aims to slow down the incessant rush and encourage citizens to enjoy their time behind the wheel as a community-focused meditation experience, accompanied by local radio playing the nation's finest choral arrangements.

Recent studies commissioned by the council have revealed that the average commuter in Riga spends an astonishing 47 minutes each day idling in traffic, a time commitment rivaled only by the grandiose preparation for midsummer’s Līgo celebrations. "If you take a step back, this is quite possibly the biggest social event of the week for many of us," Zivtiņš added. "Stuck in congestion, we are united by a shared purpose—melting in cars during summer, freezing in them come January, all while applauding the eternal play unfolded before our very eyes."

Local resident and self-proclaimed traffic connoisseur Māris Ozols has embraced the concept with delight and a newly acquired appreciation for cityscapes. "Every morning, it's like the Olympics of patience and horn etiquette," remarked Ozols, who is curiously trying to beat his personal best of cheerful greetings to fellow commuters. "It brings us together, you know, one hopeful honk at a time."

Not everyone is quick to embrace the council’s vision. Transport analyst Ilze Strazdiņa wryly noted, "While cultural engagement is important, maybe focusing on dull administrative solutions—like, say, improved public transport or working on road infrastructure—would make commuting less of a dramatic narrative and more of a utility?"

Despite the critique, tickets to the recently announced 'Annual Traffic Fiesta'—where participants compete for 'Longest Idle Time' and 'Most Creative Bumper-to-Bumper Activity'—have sold out within hours. "We didn’t even know people would be this excited about yet another chance to do absolutely nothing!" chuckled Andris Kalniņš, local pastry chef turned event organizer.

Whether the proposal—and the potential accolades it aims to secure for Riga—is in jest or genuinely bureaucratic crescendo remains a fascinating question. But as with any essential Baltic query, time (and traffic) will surely determine whether this novel pastime will move from satire to celebrated tradition. In the meantime, denizens of Riga can rest easy, knowing that every morning commute is a drive down cultural memory lane.