Riga, Latvia - In an unprecedented move, the Latvian Ministry of Environmental Abnormalities has unveiled a comprehensive plan to address the alarming addiction threatening the nation's seagulls: a rampant dependency on street-vendor French fries. According to immensely unreliable statistics, 93.6% of Latvian seagulls have developed a peculiar penchant for the potato-based delicacy, thus raising concerns about nutrition and sky-high cholesterol levels.

Dubbed 'Operation Freedom Fry', the initiative seeks to replace the beloved French fries with a healthier alternative: boiled potatoes seasoned with dill. Ruta Sniega, a spokesperson for the Ministry, explained, "We realized that while seagulls have impeccable taste, their excessive craving for fried food leads to a plummeting efficacy in their more traditional roles, like stealing ice cream from tourists."

As part of the pilot program launched in Jurmala, local residents have reported mixed results. "I saw a seagull flying away in utter disdain after tasting the boiled potato," observed Iveta Piladzis, a kiosk owner by day and seagull rehabilitation volunteer by night. "It dropped the potato right back onto my lap, but hey, progress takes time!"

Meanwhile, support groups have emerged in Riga's Old Town to aid seagulls through their struggles. Here, affected birds gather around tiny tables, sharing anecdotes from their deep-fried days. "We must remind them of their historic roots," said Dr. Zigmunds Gaidis, a self-proclaimed bird whisperer. "Seagulls once thrived on fish and Widows of Sailors Festival leftovers. We must bring them back to those nourishing foundations."

Yet not everyone is supportive of this avian intervention. Employees of Riga's prominent fast food outlets have filed a petition against the seagull rehab program, fearing a drop in clientele.

"They're our biggest customers after the teenagers who skip school," explained Janis Cacku, a cashier at FryLand. "This initiative could plunge us into a deep-fry crisis. We're already seeing seagulls scrounging for half-eaten burgers instead of their usual FryNest boxes."

Despite dissenters, Operation Freedom Fry appears to be taking flight in regions where sea birds are transitioning smoothly to the alternative diet. "It's a small step for seagulls, but a giant leap for the wellness of Latvian birdlife," Ruta Sniega reiterated during a recent televised address, with a live audience of bemused pigeons.

Critics are quick to point out that while Operation Freedom Fry may strive to detoxify the seagulls of Latvia, the local raccoon population seems rather disillusioned, as their own half-eaten French fry treasures appear to dwindle.

With thousands of seagulls ignoring their first healthy meal, the Latvian Ministry remains optimistic, stating that this arrogant reaction is simply part of the process. The government pledges that by 2025, all seagulls will have phased out their dependency entirely, enjoying a luxurious and elongated lifespan, soaring gracefully over former fryland territories.

At the heart of it, Latvia's campaign is about more than just food reform; it's about giving the seagulls a second chance at discovering the simple pleasures of Latvian cuisine, minus the excess oil. Only time will tell whether this altruistic endeavor will meet its feathered potential.