Riga, Latvia – In an unexpected turn of atmospheric entrepreneurship, the Latvian Ministry of Economic Opportunities (MOE) has announced an audacious new project aimed to revolutionize the country’s economy. At a press conference held on the cobblestone streets of Riga’s Old Town, Minister of Economic Opportunities, Valdis Silkitins, revealed plans to bottle and sell fresh Latvian air internationally.

"Our little Baltic gem is known for its stunning forests, crisp air, and, of course, our immaculate integration into digital economies," said Minister Silkitins, who was enthusiastically waving a gleaming bottle of ‘Riga Air Prototypes’. "What better way to capitalize on these natural treasures than to become the Nordic Oz of breathable sensations?"

The ambitious project, dubbed ‘Air Apparents’, involves the strategic siphoning of air from select locations around Riga, including the renowned Bastejkalns Park, Kalnciems Quarter, and the iconic spires of St. Peter's Church, ensuring a blend of freshness, history, and architectural marvel with every inhaled breath.

Touted as the first "Breath-to-Table" initiative, the bottled air was described by Silkitins as possessing a refined taste, with "hints of archaeological mystique and notes of Baltic resilience." The ministry anticipates global markets, particularly in urban hubs struggling with pollution, such as Beijing, New Delhi, and Los Angeles, will salivate over the prospect.

Economist and self-proclaimed air critic, Dr. Ilze Smilga, weighed in on the initiative. "While selling air might sound a bit too futuristic, if not outlandishly idealistic, this idea could exponentially increase Latvia’s export line-up, previously dominated by timber, amber, and catchy Eurovision entries," she argued while attempting to keep a straight face.

In anticipation of potential shortages and air-siphoning riots from locals keen to stock up, the MOE has launched a campaign encouraging residents to engage in ‘Supportive Breathing’, a community-oriented exercise aimed at replenishing the air supply. "Just a few mindful seconds a day," reassured Silkitins, "can help keep our air economy at full capacity."

Local entrepreneurs have already hopped on the airwave, with numerous start-ups emerging to provide specialized services such as 'Vintage Air Capsules' from Latvian Saunas or 'Artisan Gust' collections featuring air-fumed with finely aged fish from Riga’s Central Market.

Meanwhile, environmentalists have shown a blend of support and disbelief. Liga Teicuka, head of the Green Latvia Coalition, commented, "It’s an ingenious plan if executed with care. But frankly, we’re all just waiting on how they plan to compensate for the vacuum vacuum."

As the country gears up to set new records in cultural novelty, projections for the Latvian economy point towards a ‘windfall’, with an estimated boost of €3 billion or approximately 100 million bottles set for export by mid-2024.

"It’s a breath of fresh air for economic policy," Silkitins quipped in conclusion, leaving the podium to a robust round of applause from a crowd now vigorously checking the air quality indexes on their smartphones.